RateMyProfessor
Scripture written by strangers, consulted like gospel before every registration window opens.
The Sacred Reviews
Before you register for anything, you open the sacred text — a page of five-star and one-star reviews written by strangers who took the class two years ago, and somehow their word decides your whole semester. A professor with a glowing rating and "GOAT, do the readings" becomes scripture. You build your schedule around whoever the reviews called kind, and skip the one they called ruthless.
The Hierophant's wisdom always arrives secondhand, passed down through people who came before you and wrote it all down so you wouldn't have to learn it the hard way. Trust the tradition today — it's usually right, or right enough to be useful, and it's built from real students, not marketing.
what may cross your path
- A five-star review convinces you to enroll in a class you'd otherwise have skipped.
- Someone's one-star rant about "impossible tests" turns out to describe one bad week, not the whole class.
- A friend swears by a professor RateMyProfessor rated lower, and they're right.
- You screenshot a review and send it to the group chat before adding the course.
Wisdom from strangers can point the way. My own eyes still have to see it.
Five Stars, One Lie
Five stars and a glowing headline talked you into this class, and none of it held up — the reviews were outdated, or written by someone with a semester nothing like yours, or, you begin to suspect, written by the professor's own friends the same week they were posted. The sacred text turned out to be a rumor with good formatting.
This is the Hierophant's tradition gone stale, quoted without anyone checking the date on it. Old wisdom, repeated confidently, can still lead you somewhere wrong. The lesson isn't to stop trusting the reviews — it's to read them the way you'd read anything secondhand, with one eye on when it was actually written.
what may cross your path
- An "easiest A of your life" review turns out to describe a professor who retired two years ago.
- The five-star darling assigns three papers no review mentioned.
- You realize the glowing reviews were all posted the same week, probably by friends.
- A one-star warning you dismissed turns out to have been completely accurate.
Old wisdom can still mislead. I check the date before I believe it.