the legend · 22 cards
The Lawyer Arcana
22 cards for attorneys, paralegals, and everyone who bills 0.1 to read this sentence. It punches up at the profession, the billable hour, and Big Law's beautiful machine, never the client. The gift for the lawyer in your life. Flip a card for its upright and reversed reading.
Holding a card? Tap its number.
0The Associate
in the place of the fool
- Upright
- You're billing three hundred and fifty an hour and you graduated four months ago.
- Reversed
- The partner said 'handle it.' You still don't know what 'it' is.
IThe Billable Hour
in the place of the magician
- Upright
- You can turn six minutes of thinking into a number, and that number into a beach house.
- Reversed
- You bill 0.1 to open the email that says “no action needed.”
IIThe Paralegal
in the place of the high priestess
- Upright
- You actually know where everything is, how the judge likes it, and what the partner meant.
- Reversed
- The firm finds out the case was run entirely by someone making a fifth of the salary.
IIIThe Rainmaker
in the place of the empress
- Upright
- You don't practice law anymore; you take people to golf and the revenue follows you home.
- Reversed
- You haven't opened a statute since the Clinton administration.
IVThe Managing Partner
in the place of the emperor
- Upright
- Your name is on the door and on every memo about reducing printing costs.
- Reversed
- You raised everyone's hours and called it a “culture of ownership.”
VThe General Counsel
in the place of the hierophant
- Upright
- You are the one person in the building allowed to say “absolutely not” to the CEO.
- Reversed
- Your entire legal opinion was “it depends,” and they paid you anyway.
VIThe Retainer
in the place of the lovers
- Upright
- A beautiful agreement where they hand you money before either of you has done anything.
- Reversed
- You burned through it in nine days and the case is “just getting interesting.”
VIIThe Deposition
in the place of the chariot
- Upright
- Seven hours of asking the same question until the truth gets tired.
- Reversed
- You objected to form so many times the court reporter started rolling her eyes.
VIIIOpposing Counsel
in the place of justice
- Upright
- A worthy adversary who makes you sharper, whom you genuinely respect across the aisle.
- Reversed
- “Per my last email.”
IXThe Administrator
in the place of the hermit
- Upright
- You have the building keys, the notary stamp, and the one printer that works. The firm runs on you.
- Reversed
- They scheduled the all-hands and didn't tell you.
XThe Settlement
in the place of wheel of fortune
- Upright
- Everyone walks away equally unhappy, which is how you know it was fair.
- Reversed
- You settled on the courthouse steps because nobody actually wanted a trial.
XIThe Judge
in the place of strength
- Upright
- The room goes silent. The gavel hasn't moved and you've already decided.
- Reversed
- You are asleep behind the briefs. No one has told you yet.
XIII'll Call You Right Back
in the place of the hanged man
- Upright
- Suspended between the call you were on and the one that actually mattered, at perfect peace with both.
- Reversed
- It has been six weeks.
XIIIThe Conflict Check
in the place of death
- Upright
- A clean, necessary ending: the firm cannot take the case, and you are free.
- Reversed
- You already did fourteen hours of work before anyone ran it.
XIVIt Depends
in the place of temperance
- Upright
- The most honest answer in the profession, balancing every fact against every other fact.
- Reversed
- You said it to avoid having read the file.
XVThe NDA
in the place of the devil
- Upright
- A tidy little contract that makes a very loud problem very quiet.
- Reversed
- You signed one so broad you can't legally admit you have a job.
XVIThe Sanctions Order
in the place of the tower
- Upright
- Everything you built on that one aggressive theory comes down in a single footnote.
- Reversed
- You hit “reply all” on the privileged thread.
XVIIA Contingency Fee
in the place of the star
- Upright
- Thirty-three percent of something that hasn't happened yet, poured toward a courthouse on the horizon.
- Reversed
- The case settled for zero. You drove two hours for this.
XVIIIThe Redline
in the place of the moon
- Upright
- A document so marked up nobody is certain what the deal even is anymore.
- Reversed
- They accepted all changes and now you can't prove what you agreed to.
XIXMaking Partner
in the place of the sun
- Upright
- Twelve years of your life, and now you get to buy in with money you don't have.
- Reversed
- Congratulations, the grind was the prize.
XXThe Verdict
in the place of judgement
- Upright
- The jury files back in, the foreman stands, and every billable hour finally means something.
- Reversed
- The client read it as “we should have settled,” which you told them in March.
XXIThe Bar Number
in the place of the world
- Upright
- You did it: sworn in, licensed, a real attorney, the whole world of practice open before you.
- Reversed
- Now you find out the actual job is email.